The Grinch (My English Teacher)

The Grinch lived in a house, or whatever you please. Each morning he got up, his hair he would tease. He'd put on his argyle sweater and sneeze.
   But down at Hammond, "Teenville", if you'd rather, the teens were excited for Winter Break ... lather? The Grinch looked at Hammond, and shuddered with hate.
   "I must stop these teens from having their break!"
Then he smiled a smile that grew slowly with greed, "I'll give them an essay, and a whole book to read!"
    And he laughed his Grinch laugh, bringing the comb to his hair, as he thought about torturing the Hammond Bears.
  In his radio-Grinch voice, he announced to his pupils, "There's nothing better for you anyway, you pills!"
So the teenagers cried, and they slaved away, while their families had fun all Winter Break.

If I Owned LOLCats

So, you all know about that website, LOLCats, right? The one with the pictures of cats doing weird or cute things with the bad-grammar captions that are supposed to be written from the cat's point of view? Well, most of the pictures on there aren't really funny, in my opinion. But hope is not lost for ridiculous cat pictures. I have come across a few pictures, NOT from LOLCats or ICanHazACheezburger, that are actually FUNNY cat pictures. Although, considering my sense of humor, some of you may find them more creepy than funny. Anyway, here they are:

HAVE A NICE DAY!

Funny Screenshots

So, when I get on Facebook sometimes, I see things that are funny, but not in a picture or anything. No one acknowledges it, so I screenshot it. I thought it would be funny to show you guys some of the screenshots I've taken, but with people's identities edited out, so that I'm not intruding their privacy. I also might come back to this post from time to time and add more screenshots, if I have any. Anyway, here they are:

If you can't see it, the circled top part says, "Take a stand against pornography" and the picture below it on my News Feed features cleavage.

If this one is also hard to see, the original post says, "I think I'm falling for u...I hope ur there to catch me". The comment I wrote below it is, "TRUST FALL"

Like I said, I'll look for more funny screenshots on my computer and add them later.

Ok, here are some more:

 Ok Those are mostly just me being stressed, but yeah

Science Class

As my mom already knows, most of the kids in my science class are obnoxious and slightly lacking in the intelligence department. To Give you an idea of what I mean, today we were talking about the structure of the Solar System, and these were some of the things I heard:




Science Teacher: And here we have the unfortunately named planet, Uranus.


Kid in the Back: Whose idea was that, anyway? Was there like, some guy named Uranus and he was like, "Oh, name this planet after me"?


Me: Actually, it was named after a Roman god, so you can blame the Romans, if you want.


Girl Behind Me: Did Maria just talk?


Science Teacher: I don't know if this is appropriate, but I have a joke. What do toilet paper and the ship from Star Trek have in common?


Kid in Back: What?


Science Teacher: They both circle Uranus in search of Klingons.


My Friend, Cassie: I'm Done (laughing)


Science Teacher: Now, the Sun actually isn't the biggest star, who can tell me what the biggest star is called? (pause) Come on, guys, which is the biggest star?


Kid in the Back: Uranus is!


Science Teacher: Actually, the biggest star is called Sirius. Has anybody read the Harry Potter Books? (pause while Cassie, Austin, and I raise our hands)


Girl Behind Me: NO WAY! I DON'T BELIEVE IN WITCHCRAFT!!! (Cassie and I look at each other with pained expressions)


Science Teacher:Well, Sirius means dog, and the star Sirius is part of a constellation of a dog, also called Sirius. You know, how Sirius in Harry Potter sometimes is in the form of a dog?


Kid Across the Room: So, the star formed out of a dog?


Science Teacher: No, the star did not form out of a dog.


Kid in the Back: URANUS IS A DOG!


Kid in Front of Me: Did you know that Uranus is WAY bigger than Earth? (snickers)


Me (whispered to Cassie): Uranus is a Gas Giant.


Cassie: (puts head down on desk to laugh)


Me (whispering again): Sorry, I had to.


BELL RINGS


Kid in the Back: I HEART URANUS!!


Girl Behind ME: Cassie be worshippin' Satan! She be learnin' witchcraft from those Harry Potter books!





So, yeah. That's pretty much how it goes in my science class... Seriously, "the star formed out of a dog? " Yeah, totally. A dog was just randomly in space before Earth was formed, and the dog became plasma, and formed a freaking STAR.

Evidence of My Procrastination

After working on a research essay for my English class (not for fun), I came across screenshots of the past that I had taken while writing different essays of me procrastinating and writing something completely irrelevant to whatever said essay was about. I found them really funny, so I decided to share the ones I could find with you all... I hope you found them funny! (Sorry if they're hard for you to see)