Science Class

As my mom already knows, most of the kids in my science class are obnoxious and slightly lacking in the intelligence department. To Give you an idea of what I mean, today we were talking about the structure of the Solar System, and these were some of the things I heard:




Science Teacher: And here we have the unfortunately named planet, Uranus.


Kid in the Back: Whose idea was that, anyway? Was there like, some guy named Uranus and he was like, "Oh, name this planet after me"?


Me: Actually, it was named after a Roman god, so you can blame the Romans, if you want.


Girl Behind Me: Did Maria just talk?


Science Teacher: I don't know if this is appropriate, but I have a joke. What do toilet paper and the ship from Star Trek have in common?


Kid in Back: What?


Science Teacher: They both circle Uranus in search of Klingons.


My Friend, Cassie: I'm Done (laughing)


Science Teacher: Now, the Sun actually isn't the biggest star, who can tell me what the biggest star is called? (pause) Come on, guys, which is the biggest star?


Kid in the Back: Uranus is!


Science Teacher: Actually, the biggest star is called Sirius. Has anybody read the Harry Potter Books? (pause while Cassie, Austin, and I raise our hands)


Girl Behind Me: NO WAY! I DON'T BELIEVE IN WITCHCRAFT!!! (Cassie and I look at each other with pained expressions)


Science Teacher:Well, Sirius means dog, and the star Sirius is part of a constellation of a dog, also called Sirius. You know, how Sirius in Harry Potter sometimes is in the form of a dog?


Kid Across the Room: So, the star formed out of a dog?


Science Teacher: No, the star did not form out of a dog.


Kid in the Back: URANUS IS A DOG!


Kid in Front of Me: Did you know that Uranus is WAY bigger than Earth? (snickers)


Me (whispered to Cassie): Uranus is a Gas Giant.


Cassie: (puts head down on desk to laugh)


Me (whispering again): Sorry, I had to.


BELL RINGS


Kid in the Back: I HEART URANUS!!


Girl Behind ME: Cassie be worshippin' Satan! She be learnin' witchcraft from those Harry Potter books!





So, yeah. That's pretty much how it goes in my science class... Seriously, "the star formed out of a dog? " Yeah, totally. A dog was just randomly in space before Earth was formed, and the dog became plasma, and formed a freaking STAR.